Adopted into Adventism, Abused for Years

Content Warning: Sexual Abuse

I was adopted at a young age after spending time in foster care when the state wrongly took all 5 of my mom's children away. Unfortunately both of my parents died when I was a kid, so reunion was not an option. We were all split up with different families.

Anyway, it was just my luck that the family I was adopted into was Seventh-day Adventist. I just went along with it for a long time, but eventually, stuff didn't make sense to me and I began to read the Bible for myself. I was like, "So many things are taken out of context and are purely personal beliefs."

Of course I couldn't leave it, because there is no doing what you want in an Adventist home. I think my adoptive parents fell somewhere in between conservative and liberal within the SDA church. There were some things they didn't care about, and other things they wouldn't budge on. I couldn't wear pants to church, jewelry, makeup or get my nails done, but we could take a trip that required us to travel on the Sabbath.

Something weird my adoptive parents did is that at a certain point, they disagreed about what kind of church to go to, so they went to separate churches. My sister (their biological child) went to church with my mom and I went with my dad. Central to my experience in the SDA church was the notoriety they had and the abuse they committed, and how the church protected and enabled them, because in their eyes they could do no wrong.

My dad was ordained, taught Sabbath school, led the men's ministry, the youth department, he was a Master Guide and also led AY (Adventist Youth). He was the SDA church's dream person, truly. My mom stayed more behind the scenes, but she was also a Master Guide, and she would often mentor the youth alongside my dad. They were also both educators, but honestly they both had no business being around children.

People worshipped the ground they walked on. My mom was a second generation SDA and her dad was heavily involved in the church, too. Before churches were livestreaming, he was recording all the sermons on cassettes and VHS tapes and he would sell them. He also did this for campmeeting as well. Everyone knew who he was.

But there was a side to all 3 of these people that the public never saw. They were upstanding model citizens as far as anyone was concerned, but behind closed doors, they were abusers.

When I was about 6 years old, my adoptive mom's dad began to rape me. This went on until he moved away when I was 12 or 13. When I was 10, my adoptive parents found out about it and we had a family meeting. CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved, which was a joke, and everyone carried on about their lives. No one believed me and the support that I received was a therapist at my mom's church who sided with my mom on everything.

My parents' biggest concern was that people knew about it and they had to hear it from someone else, and not from me. It wouldn't have mattered if they heard it from me, because they still allowed him to come over AFTER they knew about it. They did everything short of selling me to him because he still continued to assault me.

CPS or DCF (Department of Children and Families) came to the house so many times and the very last time they came, the way they dealt with it was by kicking me out. I went to go live with my aunt for a bit.

They did everything in their power to protect their image, but not the child they bought and swore that they so badly needed. Anyway, fast forward to college, I tried to keep the SDA thing up and then I realized I didn't care. I didn't believe any of it, I was just so scared because of the fear tactics they use.

I walked away in 2016, told my adoptive parents, and my mother was distraught. She started sending me all this religious BS and I just ignored it. I ended up moving back home for like a month, because a living situation with my sister didn't work out. I was kicked out because I had no interest in going to church with them.

The very last time I stepped foot in an SDA church, someone was pulling on my dress because she thought it was too short and I think that sums up everything you need to know about the culture of the SDA church.

I tried out nondenominational churches for a while and was pretty involved in one, and eventually walked away from that about 3 years ago. I don't know that I'll ever join another church.

After adoption, the church has caused me the greatest harm in my life.